MortarBlog

Need A Monkey? There's An App For That.

Mark should not make promises he does not plan to keep. Especially with the new iPhone's memo capabilities. Get that man a pineapple-vodka! (We know. We know.) Click the thingy below to listen.

Trouble In The Alley!

"There's only room for one "smarmy San Francisco-based independent integrated marketing communications company" in this alley, pal!"

So you probably heard about the nefarious "Stand For Marriage" anti-gay douchebaggery perpetrated by an agency right here in our little alley. Let's get one thing straight clear: That wasn't us. There are a lot of things we'd do for money. (Shut up.)  But selling out our friends, neighbors, and loved ones ain't one of them. So, if you're headed this way with pitchforks and torches, remember: we're the nice, talented not-evil people at 25 Maiden Lane; they're the soulless bloodsuckers at 58. Just follow the snail trail.

Our pals at the har har har remind us to hang in there, baby.

News via SFist; art via Pulp International.

Mortar Did Not Wreck The Car.

We may have raised the dead, but the car's ok.

Time to fire up the Mortar Jukebox, boils and ghouls. Let’s see who digs what for Halloween.

SOPHIE - always with the classics, that Sophie. Monster Mash - Bobby “Boris” Pickett.

MOLLY - her brother was bitten by a real bat last night. For reals! Her song - Nightmare on My Street - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - is even more scary.

KHAIA/NOK - Bonus points for picking a song by an actual ghost!  Thriller - Michael Jackson.

ALICE - We were hoping for the Marilyn Manson version but...I Put A Spell On You - Bette Midler.

SERENE - Decorated the office for Halloween, so she gets two picks: The Devil Went Down To Georgia - Primus/Dracula’s Lament - Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

RYAN - OK, you want a full-on freakshow? We proudly nervously present Trapped In The Closet - R. Kelly.

HUGH - Hey, somebody had to bring the death metal - Laser Cannon Deth Sentence, Dethklok.

SHAUNA - Looks innocent. Is gangsta. Deep End - Swollen Members.

DAVID - Looks kooky. Is kooky. Brings that kooky Witchcraft - Frank Sinatra.

CHRIS - We couldn’t find Chris’ original pick, but this is pretty close: Crash Course in PLO Style - Metallica vs. Wu-Tang Clan.

RENATA - Is a misfit. And she also did the Monster Mash - Misfits.

Zombie Flanders would like to remind you to sign up for the monthly Blogblast if you haven't already.

Enjoy the Evil Jukebox, and have a Happy Halloween!

Mortar Halloween 2009

Oh It Deserves A New Language, All Right.

"Fabuttractive!?" Really? While we're inventing new words, how about  "Hacktastic?" 

Via the ironically-named-for-a-day AdGoodness.

We Thought Of It First!

"Content themed to your target's daily passions, routines or rituals are great for habituating conversations. And, habituated conversations have the greatest opportunity to generate ongoing revenue and almost unbreakable customer loyalty."

Marketing: Communications Strategy for a Conversation Model - Advertising Age - CMO Strategy.

Allow us to break it down:

Setting up a Facebook page is not enough. That's like hearing that someone wants to have a conversation, and handing them little finger sandwiches so they can snack while they have the conversation. It's nice and all, but it's also irrelevant.

CONSUMER: "I'm thinking of buying a hybrid."

BAD MARKETER: "Great! Would you like a sandwich?"

CONSUMER: "No thanks, I just ate. So where are the reviews of the top three hybrids?"

BAD MARKETER: "Sandwich?"

CONSUMER: "Still no. Are there surveys? Forums I could read?"

BAD MARKETER: "These sandwiches are delicious. We cut the crusts off."

CONSUMER: "Grrrrrr."

Aaaaaand scene.

The point is - treat  your marketing like a real conversation. Listen. Respond. Act like a human, not a robot.