Stick figures: They make moves. Never-ever-ever do they fake moves.
InFocus Labs, a projector company (that Mortar has probably kept in business for years due to a certain British person's predilection for misplacing projectors,) recently sponsored a Worst PowerPoint Slide Contest. It's awesomely bad.
But hey, it's Memorial Day weekend, which is awesomely good! We hope you enjoy it, and remember: our pals at Eat24Hours.com are waiting patiently to supply the chow for that party you're throwing - it sure beats cooking!
AWOOOOOOOO! Happy Halloween! Normally, we’d be in full Elitist Coastal Snob Mode this time of year, as we generally consider Halloween - along with its yokel buddies New Year’s Eve and St. Patrick’s Day - to be a charter member of the Unholy Trinity of Amateur-Hour Holidays. But you know what? The Giants have us in an incredibly good mood right now and not just because the wind’s blowing this way from McCovey Cove. So allow us to amaze you as we turn a random, hastily-penned scribblewide-ranging and articulate knowledge download into a focused, must-read marketing missive. You won't believe your eyes.
Remember this?
Yikes. Here’s hoping Mr. Bateman doesn’t get too upset when he sees the new logo and business cards we just released for online ad exchange AdBrite.
“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it...”
See how we did that? One minute, Halloween. The next minute, Random Movie Reference. Then...BAM! Work Stuff. Office magic, people. Annnnd scene.
Ok, now on to the Actual Scary Things:
WARNING: Watching This Video In Its Entirety May Cause Violent Diarrhea And/Or The Condition Known As "Death By Embarassment."
We're not kidding. We only made it through the first 0:48. Really. Seriously. We are so not kidding.
Oops. They pulled it. To be fair, it was supposed to be for an internal talent show. (They have that kind of budget for internal talent shows? That kind of profligacy is...scary! Awooooooo!)
Quick, Scoob! L-l-let’s get out of here!
Ahhhh. That’s better. You can always depend on the classics. Speaking of which, it's time for...Mortar Halloween Jukebox - iMeem Went Out Of Business Because The Economy Is So Scary-Edition!
No audio jukebox this year. And not as many songs. But you do get video, so there's that.
DAVID/MARK/TODD: "Bela Lugosi's Dead" - Bauhaus.
Remember this from The Hunger? We’re not sure which is scarier - the atmosphere of vampiric menace, or the 80’s hair. Either way....awesomely scary.
SOPHIE: "Two of Hearts" - Stacy Q
We know. We know. But stay with us. This hilarious-yet-creepy scene is from Party Monster, an underrated yet highly scary flick. We’ve got chills just thinking about it.
SERENE: “Ghostbusters” - Ray Parker, Jr.
Wait a minute. Something’s wrong. This is a song from the 80’s. And everyone knows Serene’s musical tastes are permanently stuck in the 90’s. Which means...that’s not the real Serene! And she’s calling from inside the house!
HUGH - is about to rip the rubber mask off of what is obviously Pirate-Ghost Serene. Will need to gather strength first. Fortunately, there is “The Crusher” - The Novas.
And finally, a little Halloween treat from our favorite non-sparkle-vampire, Count Floyd.
APRIL 16, 2009 -SAN FRANCISCO, CA: Business/Money reporter David Louie (of the ever-popular San Francisco ABC affiliate KGO TV) seeks the insight of Mortar's very own Mark Williams about Google's 1st quarter drop in advertising revenue.
Check out the riveting video, and revealing images of our top-secret lair:
Just goes to show that not even our Silicon Valley neighbors- and by "neighbors" we mean people that would release the hounds if we came close to their uber mansions -are immune to the dreaded "R word." The Full Story, if you like that sort of thing
Seems to me the media has literally adopted the old saying, turning iPhone and Palin into newsworthy topics about police, pitbulls, phone-suicide, gun-lovers, girl
power and iPhone neglect.
The economic crisis couldn't possibly be responsible for wiping out everything from small businesses to actual real news. Or could it? Which news is more newsworthy? You be the judge:
Apparently our beloved cartoon characters from the past... um... sixty years just aren't connecting with modern kids. So a large-scale effort seems to be in the works to update old characters and sell them to picky Gen Z-ers. Take Strawberry Shortcake, for example:
Old Strawberry Shortcake is on the left, New Strawberry Shortcake is on the right. Other makeovers in the works include the Care Bares, Mickey Mouse, and all of the Looney Toons.
I can't wait to see what they do with Rainbow Bright. (She was already such a cutie.)
I think the real question, however, remains: Why can't the entertainment industry come up with new stuff ever?!?!?
Our good friends at SFist (they don't know they're our good friends but we've been stalking them for quite some time now and we're sure they'll love us once we've softened them up by keeping them in the MortarBasement for a few weeks) managed to snag a three-question interview with San Francisco Chronicle Executive Editor, Phil Bronstein aka, the former Mr. Sharon Stone.
And, contrary to the title of this post, one of those questions was not "What are three things that haunt your dreams?"
Wow, this is something you want to avoid at all costs.
See that big orange AT&T / Samsung ad? I mean, how could you miss it, really.
Most of the pages I go to on Wired.com has that flash ad that just shows up and covers a large section of the page. There is no close button or any other way to remove the ad; it even covers up the global navigation on the home page... ultra-bad juju.
It is making some folks pretty peeved - read some of their verbatim comments below: they are talking boycotting both AT&T and Wired.
Can't close advert with either firefox or internet explorer - better fix it wired
It's pretty poor representation for your brand. Totally unusable.
AT&T
last time i visit wired for a while, whos with me on the boycott?
Boycott AT&T
Seriously, WTF? Wired should be able to do better than this crap.
Good thing Tony Soprano isn't around anymore, or a boycott would be the least of their worries.
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