MortarBlog

Where’s the monkey?

Hi, I’m Allyson. Or, Ally. Around Mortar, I’m known as Stinchfield, the new resident PR and social media guru. I met Mortar folks years ago on LinkedIn. We recently found each other again there.

I am happy to be here. I’m excited to help Mortar’s diverse set of clients create PR and social media conversations that harness the power of a Mortar360 branding workshop.

There are a few things that have stood out for me during my first official days at Mortar:

• Everyone is having fun and talking out loud, in a good-getting-great-stuff-done kind of way.
• The resident monkey is nowhere to be found.
• Mortar’s clients are diverse. Already, I’ve written a blog about a company lifting farmers out of poverty in Burma (Proximity Designs), sat in a room with a leading SaaS company forever changing the way marketing and sales teams score leads (Marketo), and talked in-depth with some execs about how to better serve Americans in debt (Financial Freedom Network).
• We get to work with smart professors from all walks of life at Golden Gate University (GGU), one of Mortar’s many long-term clients. The media call upon them regularly these days (great job former Mortar PR gurus!).
• The branding conversation with clients is much more direct than the PR ones I’ve been privy to over the last decade. There’s more focus on getting real rich insights upfront from all stakeholders (customers, partners, critics, competitors, people online and on the street, the media, etc.), and less on creating B.S. out of thin air.
• It’s a truthful 360-leadership conversation where everyone contributes. I’ve watched Mortar share information that clients may not want to hear, but need to. For instance, “Your messaging makes no sense to anyone but you and we fell asleep reading all of those atrocious acronyms.”
• The Mortar Foundation is doing good work in the world. Work I care about too. Like helping less fortunate people who need voices to shout out to them every once in awhile, “Hey, we’ve got your back!”

I look forward to my journey as Mortar’s resident, provisional PR and social media guru. Drop me a line anytime. I’d love to hear from you.

Stinchfield

P.S. Using the power of social media and PR, I’ve learned how to speed up help for AFCECO orphans and once for a miraculous little boy named Oliver. I look forward to contributing my skills to The Mortar Foundation and client causes, too.

---

Smart Solutions For A Dumb Grid.

MORTARBLOG: "The U.S. power grid is so dumb..."

YOU: "How dumb is it?"

MORTARBLOG: "It's so dumb it thinks soy milk is Spanish for "I am milk.""

But seriously, folks, the grid is really dumb. You would not believe how much power goes to waste every day, and how much grossness gets spewed into the atmosphere every day to make all that power that's going to waste. Fortunately there's a simple, free way to start doing something about it. Which is where Mortar client Genability comes in. We could explain what they're up to using boring old words, but we'd rather share our new animated short, "Giving People Power Over Their Power." It's narrated by our pal Ed Begley, Jr., and it has mole people and birds that drop money and even a pony!

Please take two minutes and fifty-seven seconds of your day to check it out.

Pretty cool, right? Did you laugh? Did you cry? Did you want to punch the PG&E guy? (Don't.) OK, then tell all your friends about WhatsMyPower.com, and let's all help make the grid a little smarter.

Lord knows this world could use a little less dumbassery.

Mortar Starts Massive Bowl Movement

It’s not bowling. It’s not golf. And whatever you do, don’t call it “bocce.”

It’s Lawn Bowls. And it’s the next big thing in American sports. Like Mahou Sensei Negima, the metric system, and boxed milk, Lawn Bowls is just another train that our nation inexplicably missed. 20 million people around the world indulge in this delightful diversion, while only 17,000 do in the U.S. The game has been around for 500 years – so exactly why haven’t we recognized its undisputed awesomeness yet?

No sport becomes an American pastime overnight. Do you think baseball was popular in its germinating stages? “Hey guys: Let’s all put on tight, non-breathable pants, have someone throw a rock-hard leather ball at our faces, then dive headfirst onto dirty vinyl bags all day long.” Yeah. Maybe later.

Sports gain popularity through awareness – which is what Lawn Bowls lacks in the U.S. That's why the United States Lawn Bowls Association came to Mortar. And it’s why Mortar is on the hunt for sponsors of all shapes and sizes for the USLBA.

If your brand is looking to gain awareness and boost its image, this is a low-risk move with a potentially huge payoff. Although Lawn Bowls is a sport you can play whether you’re 19 or 90, the average player age is 50+. With the exploding number of baby boomers entering the market each year, these leisure beavers are looking for a fun, low-impact activity to keep them from having to tend to the garden all day and converse with their one-eyed curmudgeonly neighbor.

Not many sports could be more appealing to this crowd – or for your brand. Think curling, but on grass: challenging, fun to play, and with massive potential for cocktail consumption. It’s ideal for TV coverage, but without the need for big slabs of ice and bitter cold. You play on a manicured grass court, and there’s unlimited opportunity for social activity off the green.

Brands, are you listening? Get in the rink before someone else beats you to the jack. Download USLBA's full sponsorship deets here to learn more about why this could be the best decision you’ve ever made. If you’re interested in being a national, regional, local, or event sponsor of the USLBA, contact Craig Patterson at craig@mortaragency.com or (408) 802-9122.

Have You Guys Heard About This "Social Media" Thing?

OMG!  WTF!? Facebook is down! How could this have happened? HOW!?

 

Bastards.

You will never break the spirits of our brave American* Farm(ville) workers.

Well, what do we do now?

 

Yeah, yeah. Already did that. What else?

Sounds like our last creative presentation. HIYO!
But seriously, what else can we do?

Very nice. We loves us a Quick-Reaction PR Tweet. (Say that five times fast.)
Wicked-smaht, ZipCar Boston.

Oh, snnnnnap! Why you gotta hate, Emilburp?

 

HA! Suck it, Al Qaeda! USA! USA! USA!

Via ze Huffington Post, dahlinks.

Life's Mysteries, Answered On The Mortarblog.

So, remember a couple weeks ago when we mentioned the killer PR opportunity Top Pot Donuts had for that knucklehead NFL'er who broke in to one of their stores?

...They must read the Mortarblog.

So. To answer our own question, "No. There is nothing donuts cannot do."

Donuts: Is There Anything They Can't Do?

Running a down-and-in...to our stomachs!

From the Department Of Hilarious Unintentional PR, Seattle Seahawks rookie wide receiver Golden Tate got busted for breaking in to a Seattle-area Top Pot Donuts last night.

"They're irresistible," Tate said. "It was kind of a foolish mistake that won't happen again."

At least not while the store is closed.

"If you ever want some maple bars, that's the place to go," he said.

Tate, 21, was neither arrested nor cited. He was given a warning, said Officer Carla Iafrate, the public-information officer for Bellevue Police.

Stupid rookie. That coach is gonna be on him like frosting on a delicious maple bar.

"I'm not disappointed in a guy being in a doughnut shop when they've got maple bars like Top Pot has," Pete Carroll said."

D'oh!

But seriously - everyone who wants to go to Top Pot right freaking now raise your non-mousing hand. Us, too. Can you buy PR like that? You cannot. Unless you have donuts. Who says crime doesn't pay?

Read the full story at the Seattle Times.

If This Is A Dream, Don't Wake Us Up.

Run for the hills! Pablo is really really mad about hitting into so many double-plays! That's what this is, right? Right? No? It's just a teaser for King-Kong 360-3D? Sigh. It was a beautiful dream for a minute there.

Thanks for nothing, Adrants.

Conan's People Get Us. They Really Really Get Us.

With a headline like "Reno: It's Like Vegas But Without All The Douchebags!" you'd think we were Conan O'Brien's roadies. Or you'd think Team CoCo had part-time gigs as brand strategists at Mortar. But it ain't like that at all. What it is like is this - we freaking told you so! 

See?

SEE!?

There is good, cheap, non-douchey fun to be found in the Biggest Little City. (And alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.) Go check it out for yourselves!
Just don't tell the you-know-whos.

Thanks, Team CoCo!

Is That A Shankapotamus In Your Pocket, Or...

"Make stuff people like. It's in the rulebook."

Mortar client Antenna just bought out Vaultus Mobile Technologies, the people who designed the eTrade app for iPhone and Droid - and gave the world the power to invest using the trusted knowledge of golf-playing talking babies.  Putting our well-documented antipathy toward The Talking Baby Gimmick aside for a moment, we think this purchase says something interesting.

Gene Signorini, vice president of market watcher Yankee Group’s Anywhere Enterprise Research division, says: “With this acquisition, Antenna has positioned itself to tap directly into...mobile market dynamics.”

To which we say, “Get to the interesting part, Gene.”

At which point Gene says, “Employees are demanding that mobile applications for business deliver the same type of user experiences that they are accustomed to getting from their personal life."

Thank you, Gene. That’s what we were looking for.

It’s like this, y'all: Somebody (Antenna) is building really cool apps that people use at work. The guy who fixes your Xerox machine. The guy who delivers Murphy’s Stout.  Instead of the clipboards they used to carry around, folks like that now have smartphones. Which do smart stuff.  So naturally, those folks - and the people who got them the technology in the first place - demand that level of functionality in their personal lives. Vaultus delivered that. And Antenna wisely snapped them up. See need, address need. Smart. 

NASA has nothin' on Girl Scouts

It's Girl Scout cookie time, which also happens to be our favorite time of the year.

Coincidence?  Maybe.

Or maybe its because the days are getting a wee bit longer, the cherry blossoms are a bloomin,' and we no longer have to harbor misguided and irrational rage towards a bitter and lonely breed of rodent who may or may not see his own shadow in some destitute New England village.

But mostly it's the cookies.

Cookie booth sales kick off TODAY,  and our very own Nor Cal Girl Scouts are leading the way in the social media and tech space, being the savvy, smart and notoriously adorable little do-gooders who have captivated NPR's All Things Considered.

Where can you buy some boxes, you say? All systems GO for the GPS locater of confections, the interwebs' answer to sugar withdrawals. Visit  www.ilovecookies.org -and type in your zip code for a booth near you. Plus you can make amazing recipes like Do-Si Do^® Thai peanut chicken, Somoas^® Fried Shrimp, Thin Mint Brownies and OMG I'm too hungry to keep going.

Did we mention all cookies have 0 grams trans-fat? No breaking resolutions quite yet.  Hurry up though, the kiddies pack up stands on March 21. Now only if NASA could get their act together...